Consequences or fate?

Have you ever thought of something or about a decision that you made in the past or just made? Do you always think of the consequences of the decisions that you make or things that you did? Or you'll just shrug it off once you think too much just by saying "It's fate."?

Recently i have been through this stage. I do not know why i suddenly am reliving the past, but hell i don't like it. It feels as if what ever i did, or what ever consequences of my decisions came to haunt me to tell me that what i did or what i decided was wrong.

Question. Why do people feel this way? Is this some kind of emotional disorder or am i just a bit too much of a thinker. I also do not know what causes this. Any way to avoid these things from re-occurring? Do i need to see a doctor now? Do i have a mental illness?

People say, that i have to talk to someone. Share the burden with someone you know or you are close with. Nobody can handle everything alone. BUT what IF the person you rely on the most, closest to or trust the most is not at all interested to share your burden with you? WHAT happens then?

Being the eldest of three siblings has its pressures. All the expectations and such from parents... constant nagging, bickering or whatsoever, all that, so that the rest of my siblings can have an elder brother to look up to, footsteps to follow. BUT WHY? I do not understand why is so much pressure being put on a single person like this. If that is not enough, there are still pressures from school, work, the society, friends or even your best friends.

Then again, i still do not understand, what is the difference between that is fated to happen and the consequences of an action or decision that you have to make in your life. A single decision or action can either make your life better or worse. Once you've made that decision, what happens next? If you don't like the outcome do you blame fate and say that it is what fate wants to happen? Blame that you fate is not good or unlucky?

Honestly, i do not know what am i writing to be exact. But the main point is why do we HUMANS have to relive our past or encounter and experience the same thing that happened in the past all over again? Is that a sign from GOD that the decision we made there and then is wrong and we should find a way to change it? I got myself to think a lot nowadays. And i really do hope that i will find the answer to the questions inside my head..........