Happy Bday to me & Bye bye xmas....

Well, as of 12 midnight last night, i am yet a year older... wow time flies... when i look back... at a point in my life, i was still in form five... now i'm twenty-two...

I had dinner with the makanmaniacs team last night, thank you for the dinner, the cake and the present. Thank you dasolve, Ef, Tiffany, and huilee. Thank you all for celebrating my birthday with me.

Of course not forgetting the birthday wishes that i received in miricommunity.net. Thank you all for the birthday wishes too! Present mari mari ! kekeke joking ya.

I have been wondering all my life if there is anyone with the same birthday with me... and i just found out yesterday that there is one... right in miri.. and a miricommunity member... tsyen75. Next year we try make party we celebrate together want? ekkekekeke

Last of all, thank you to my baby princess, for the present, for you birthday card... its ok we can't celebrate it together this year, there is always next year... i love you lots n lots.

To all of my readers, merry xmas and wish you all a happy new year!

Christmas Around the Corner! Goodbye 2008!

Well it has been an awfully fast paced year. I feel like the year 2008 just went by with just a blink of an eye. Ironic isn't it? When it was January 2008 there i was telling myself, 2009 is a long way ahead... but now, it is less than a week to 2009!

None the less, it has been a great year. Full of memories, happiness, sadness, joy, you name it.... Seems to me that all the things that could happen to a person happened to me this year. But then, it has passed. A new year is coming up and i am determined to make a change in this sad sad life of mine.

From the time that this blog is posted, it is less than 24 hours to Christmas... This year, what i've noticed, the shopping centers, shops, houses, seem to be more in the mood to celebrate Chinese New Year than Christmas which comes first. Why do i say that? Last week, when i was going around town, most of the shops were putting up Chinese New Year themes, sales, houses putting up lanterns (tang lung) etc... whereas if we're in a western country, you could feel the Christmas celebration mood going around... but not in Miri i guess. Hahahah.

Honestly, i don't know what to blog nowadays.. i feel like... i'm lost for words, ideas... I just hope that 2009 will a better year for me.

All in all, Merry Christmas , Happy New Year, and an early Happy Chinese New Year greetings to all of my readers. Hope you all had a good year and have a better one next year!

I'll this post with a 18 SX ah beng joke that i stole from my dear friend wingz (Thank you for the ah beng joke wingz!)

3 Ahlians Biao Meis from China kam to Mareysia together gether to find easy money wan ... as soon as they arrive in Apot, 3 of them were seperated assigned to diff area in Kolumpo following different pimps .... almost a year later oni got chance to meet up like a mini reunion lidat la.

They met in a pub and 3 of them compares stories about their sexperiences with their clients and how difficult it is to find eat now due to the bad economic situations in kolumpo.

Xiao Wen : I tell you hor ... my area puchong there hor ... very bad now leh! Everyone want cheap! I last time charge 200 bucks for a fark wan! Now hor ... my customers oni gimme 100 bucks for a fark then sommo kena include a bj wan! I really derno how to do business lidis liow wei.

Xiao Ling : WUAH!! u can get 100 bucks?! I only get 25 bucks for a bj in Jinjang leh! They want fark also no money left ledi!!! u get 100 bucks sommo u komplen? I blow till my mouth bengkak oni can get 100 bucks u know?

Xiao Lian : AIYAH! you 2 derno how lucky you are la! Sommo wanna komplen wor!

Xiao Wen : Eh ... u in Kajang wan right? kajang so cham meh now?

Xiao Lian : You derno oni ... in Kajang now dem jialat! All farktory closing down! All banglas boh lui liow!

Xiao Ling : den den how? you ok anot?

Xiao Lian : ok la ... now i offer free bj lor ...

Xiao Ling : FREE?!!!

Xiao Lian : Abuden? at least i can get some free protien to fill my stomach mah!!!

Kuwakchai - An Online Gang Experience

Lets see, it has yet been another month since i have blogged. Been out and around doing numerous things just to keep myself afloat.

So what has been happening in and around me? Honestly, nothing much but just like normal, I go through my days as happy as i can be with my friends and of course my princess.

BUT, the main agenda that i am putting forward in this blog post, is to tell you people out there about Kuwakchai. Is this the first time you have heard of this MMRPG? You may have seen it on nuffnang ads too!
Most of you may wonder, what is this Kuwakchai that i am talking about? Well, i believe a brief explanation about the word itself would be of some help to you readers out there. Kuwakchai is definitely not an English word. The word Kuwakchai is a common word or phrase or name that is used to call people whom we know as "Gangsters" or "Mafia" or "Mob". What language is the word Kuwakchai in? It is in Cantonese. So, after knowing the meaning of the word, I bet most of you could visualize a general idea on what this game is based on and what do you do in the game right? But of course, I will not let you wander into the realms of Kuwakchai without information that could help you and probably benefit you when you start to explore the wonders of Kuwakchai. To play, first and foremost you will have to register an account at the website itself, after registering you're set to go.

Once you're logged in, you will come to the main page. Which is normally known as Home. In this page you can see your own character's attributes. Like stats, crime experience, level, the money you have, your property, and your attack record (Labeled No.3). On the top right hand corner (Labeled No.1) of the page you'll see a display of status bars which represent statuses that will be used in your daily crime and gang jobs :D

Next, you'll see a navigation bar or your left hand side which lists down all the links to what you can do in Kuwakchai.com. (Labeled No.2)

The one labeled No.4 would be the voting link. This is where you get free points and in game money if you vote for Kuwakchai.com on these voting sites. You can vote and earn 48 free points and RM 10,000 of in game money once each day.

No. 5 is the donation link. As the name says it, if you feel that you want to thank kuwakchai for giving you such an enjoyable experience of online gang wars and gameplay, you can donate to them and get some "thanks" from the game itself. These "thanks" are usually used to enhance your gameplay experience.

p/s : You can click on the picture to enlarge and see better. I've taken the liberty to blacken out some parts that are not for public viewing :D hehehe

I won't delve too deep into the gameplay itself as that would spoil the fun of exploring the game on your own but i will describe on the important factors.

Energy - Energy, would mean as you all know it. Energy is used to train stats in the gymnasium (where 1 training uses up 100% of your energy) and it is also used in attacking people or in other words "pek yau". (One attack would use up 50% of your energy)

Will - What is will? In Kuwakchai, will is used as an indicator of willpower as i would put it. Where is it used? Will comes to use when you go to the gymnasium to increase/train your stats. The more will you have, the more stats you gain in 1 training. (You can also gain stats by going to school and taking courses!)

Brave - Brave comes into play when you want to do "jahat stuff" which can be found on the left hand side in the navigation section. What "jahat stuff" means is actually crime. You do crimes to gain experience points... If you have played games before you will know that experience is needed to level up. So the higher your level is the more experience points you need to level up.

There are a lot of things to learn when you start this game, but definitely it would be fun to discover them yourself and unfortunately i have to be honest, i am tired of writing and am addicted to kuwakchai. So i want to go back to my kuwakchai world now :P

There is also a KUWAKCHAI FORUM where there are guides for new comers and threads where you can post and get to know the kuwakchai community.

Of course, you can drop down comments here in my blog to ask questions about the game or look for me in game. My in game name is Mojojojo™ and my ID is [8367]. Hope to see you guys in game!

Oh by the way, if you are interested to play, you can click HERE to put me as your referrer :D Please do play and continue to Level 8 at least before you quit :D No harm done isn't it? hehehe

You can click on the banners to get to the sites too! Hope to see you guys there!

Moving On....

Have you ever been told by anyone that you are someone that "likes new stuff and hates the old ones"? That phrase has never been said to me till recently.....

I don't get it... it is not like i am hating the old stuff in my life... then why? Isn't moving on something good in life? Sometimes i just don't get how others think. Then again, why do i have to care what others think... I believe that up to a point in life, each and everyone of us will understand and will make decisions that we think is right.

For me to have being put in this situation, i did not have much choices to choose from and make a decision. But in the end, the decision was made for me and i have set my goals and determination to make it happen. All of you know right, when your mind and heart is determined and set on to a decision and goal that you set, there is no way that it would change. I would think that the same goes for everyone.

I have been in the past and from deep down inside and being honest, i do not want to re-live it. The decisions that i have made in the past and the things that i have done are all but a regret to me now. If everything is my own decision, then why is it a regret? Well, the decisions are partly made by me but only the part where my actions come into play. So to put it in short, dictated to do things........

So.. bottom line, I AM MOVING ON AND I DO NOT WANT TO EVER RE-LIVE MY PAST!!

My Choice, My Decision! No More Dictating What I Should Do!

It has been a long week... Maybe confusing and maybe even frustrating as I would say. Everything that i did or try doing all went wrong for the past week. To make matters worse, the engine of my car broke down on me. So right now, I am like a crippled person.

At the same time, home has been frustrating.... Suddenly it is me that should bear for everything that i want? Why do i have to get blamed for everything??? Why can they not understand what I am going through in my life right now? Why is it like this? Why do i have to go through this everyday? Why am i so obliged to give in and become a mule? Then i am dubbed stubborn? Why don't they look in the mirror and see for themselves that they are the ones that are stubborn?

Why can't they understand the fact that I will be living my life on my own in the future, why can't I make my own decisions, choices and they just guide me along the way? Yes, people make mistakes. But don't tell me you never make mistakes.. Everyone is bound to make mistakes as long as they are HUMAN. Nobody is perfect!! Yes i also know that i am old enough and i should be bearing my own load.. but then, i am still studying? What should i do?

Remorse and Repent

A few hours ago, i came to my senses realizing that i had done something really bad. I wasn't thinking straight when i made the decision and i now realize that it was a stupid thing to do. I know what is done cannot be undone, but i do really hope that it does not affect everything that there is. Eventhough that it is just a risk and a fool's hope, i would like to try it out and maybe, maybe one day that hope will come true but till then, all that i can do is repent for what i have done and keep on hoping that it will not have such big effect.

Yea, i know i am selfish but everyone in this world is selfish in one way. But the thing i do not understand is why did i take for granted everything that has been given to me. Why did i choose to make that decision earlier today and caused everything to collapse like a set of dominoes.

Human behaviour and thinking is so hard to understand. Even so, there are certain occasions and situations where two people can understand the other.......... why is that so? What does it mean?

One Moment In Time

A song with such a wonderful meaning. Lets hope people still remember Whitney Houston.

Each day I live
I want to be a day to give the best of me
I'm only one, but not alone
My finest day is yet unknown
I broke my heart for every gain
To taste the sweet, I faced the pain
I rise and fall,
Yet through it all this much remains

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

I've lived to be the very best
I want it all, no time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance here in my hands

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be, I will be, I will be free

I will be, I will be free

Been There Done That, It Did Not Work Out. So...

Well, i have honestly tried in taking a bow and putting a lot more of effort into my current situation but it seems that what i do has no effect whatsoever. By putting a full stop in the sentence, it signifies the end of everything. No matter what i do, what i try, it was all meaningless.

I will just concentrate on my friends, study, earning money, work, family and more towards the community. I am going to rebuild my image and work hard to maintain it. What i have done in the past is history and i am seriously not going back to the old ways.

Please do not tell me that i am making a mistake as i have gone through the same phase in the past and now i think what i did in the past is all a mistake. I will try to make things right and i will please myself and make myself happy before i make anyone else happy. God Bless.

Malaysiakini allegations against DPM Najib resurface

It has been so long since i have read the newspaper and keep up to date with the current happenings in Malaysia be it in the political scene or the current happenings in Miri. So i went to malaysiakini website today and i saw on the front page that it says the allegations against our DPM has resurfaced... i have always wondered on this matter when it first came to light.

Why is the blogger Raja Petra so sure of his allegations until now. Even if it has lead him to being detained and all. Is there a mastermind directing him to do so? Or is it the truth that is covered up behind the curtains? Politics have never been as simple as it seems. There are always hanky panky and trouble or what we commoners would define as drama. Only that the drama politicians go through are on a bigger scale and on a different level. Everything will affect these politicians.

So what should we, the citizens of Malaysia do in regard to this subject and matter. Other politicians might take this chance and bring up issues and havoc. But the question is what should we citizens do? Maybe you might want to think it over sometimes?

Take a Bow

What would you do if someone actually tells you to bow down or take a bow? If you think that i am writing this post in regards to the song Take a Bow by Rihana it is a yes. I heard the song and i was so mesmerized by it.

The lyrics itself, are already meaningful enough. If you've listened to it carefully that is. And what i can say is it means a lot to me. Cause to me bowing down or giving in is not something that i do casually. And to certain people, bowing down takes a lot of courage and effort.

Maybe the song itself is trying to tell all of us out there that there are certain times where we should back down and rethink our options. Things come and go all the time. Why don't we ever think of it as it is just something that is passing by. Let it walk past you like a shadow.

Considering what i have been through lately, i would definitely say that i need to take a bow and see things from another point of view. A single person with only two hands can do only so much. But why do people try so hard in achieving something that seems so impossible? In these few days, i have been through things that i have went through in the past. BUT this time it is so different. This time, i had someone to share it with. Someone to share the burden with me or lighten my load. Someone to be a listener and to understand fully what i am going through. (You know who you are and i thank you from the bottom of my heart)

Lost, hopeless, and a big change.

These two days has been quite a turn of events in my life. I have finally felt how it is like to be alone. I feel lost and so hopeless. I don't know what i am doing each second, each minute, and every time. I don't know what to do.

I really think that this will finally be the turning point in my life. Either i move on or stay the same, all depends on this one decision. BUT how am i supposed to make this decision. It is not like buying sweets or grocery where you make the decision just like that.

I am so confused. I don't know what to do, how to react and what should i be doing in a situation like this. Is there really going to be a big change in my life from now on? How come i feel so reluctant to let go and move on? Why do i have to feel this way? Why can't everything go smoothly and progress steadily? WHY?

擦肩而過

Another nice Chinese song that i heard during one of my K sessions. Enjoy. Lazy to find the MTV but this song is SUPER NICE and has a very NICE meaning.

我愛著誰　愛到我有點醉
告訴我你是誰　能夠把我讓我變不對
你不會累　但我卻愛你愛到好累
從沒有為了誰　不顧安危付出一切
站在這平衡點　我還是覺得有點危險
或許是看不見　只能夠靠感覺
他不會是個好男人　也不會是個好情人
你對我說　我們只是擦肩而過
好的男人有那麼多　少了他的日子也能活
我不會再讓你寂寞　也不會讓你更難過
你聽我說　要好好學著去生活
就算未來有多少錯　至少還有我的問候　我的溫柔陪你渡過

你聽我說　你不要這麼做
你不要看著我　說你已經知道怎麼做
你很難受　我願意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛　再多坎坷我都陪你走
站在這平衡點　我還是覺得有點危險
或許是看不見　只能夠靠感覺
他不會是個好男人　也不會是個好情人
你對我說　我們只是擦肩而過
好的男人有那麼多　少了他的日子也能活
我不會再讓你寂寞　也不會讓你更難過
你聽我說　要好好學著去生活
就算未來有多少錯　至少還有我的問候　我的溫柔陪你渡過

他不會是個好男人　也不會是個好情人
你對我說　我們只是擦肩而過
好的男人有那麼多　少了他的日子也能活
我不會再讓你寂寞　也不會讓你更難過
你聽我說　要好好學著去生活
就算未來有多少錯　至少還有我的問候　我的溫柔陪你渡過
就算未來有多少錯　至少還有我的問候　我的溫柔陪你渡過

Consequences or fate?

Have you ever thought of something or about a decision that you made in the past or just made? Do you always think of the consequences of the decisions that you make or things that you did? Or you'll just shrug it off once you think too much just by saying "It's fate."?

Recently i have been through this stage. I do not know why i suddenly am reliving the past, but hell i don't like it. It feels as if what ever i did, or what ever consequences of my decisions came to haunt me to tell me that what i did or what i decided was wrong.

Question. Why do people feel this way? Is this some kind of emotional disorder or am i just a bit too much of a thinker. I also do not know what causes this. Any way to avoid these things from re-occurring? Do i need to see a doctor now? Do i have a mental illness?

People say, that i have to talk to someone. Share the burden with someone you know or you are close with. Nobody can handle everything alone. BUT what IF the person you rely on the most, closest to or trust the most is not at all interested to share your burden with you? WHAT happens then?

Being the eldest of three siblings has its pressures. All the expectations and such from parents... constant nagging, bickering or whatsoever, all that, so that the rest of my siblings can have an elder brother to look up to, footsteps to follow. BUT WHY? I do not understand why is so much pressure being put on a single person like this. If that is not enough, there are still pressures from school, work, the society, friends or even your best friends.

Then again, i still do not understand, what is the difference between that is fated to happen and the consequences of an action or decision that you have to make in your life. A single decision or action can either make your life better or worse. Once you've made that decision, what happens next? If you don't like the outcome do you blame fate and say that it is what fate wants to happen? Blame that you fate is not good or unlucky?

Honestly, i do not know what am i writing to be exact. But the main point is why do we HUMANS have to relive our past or encounter and experience the same thing that happened in the past all over again? Is that a sign from GOD that the decision we made there and then is wrong and we should find a way to change it? I got myself to think a lot nowadays. And i really do hope that i will find the answer to the questions inside my head..........

On and off. Life is a torture....

Oh well, finally i can blog again. This is thanks to Cyndy for lending me her access for streamyx. Where do i begin... I don't even know where to start. After such a long absence, i think i am losing my touch to blogging and typing. Then again, i will try to blog more often even if i do not have access to the internet permanently just yet.

Okay, i'll begin with a summary of what happened in my small deary life in the past month. (And OMG yes its been a month ++ since i've last blogged) I met a few super nice nice friends from Curtin. And YES they are really really SUPER. They are nice, friendly and they are definitely the kind that you want to have as friends. Just to name a few, Farha, Cyndy, Davis, Nash (although i've only met him once) and a few others whom i haven't met in person before.

Next up, is Hari Raya celebrations. No pictures this year as i didn't even bother taking them since i thought i would not be blogging anymore. But then, celebrations are cool. A lot of my friends turned up but also disappointed at some whom didn't show eventhough i did send them personal invitations. But for all those who came, THANK YOU SO MUCH for coming and i also wish all the muslims out there SELAMAT HARI RAYA.

Last is about my old self. Recently i have noticed, that i am really really out of shape. And i mean yes, i am turning more and more skinny. And i also lost weight. (If i go to a doctor for a checkup the doctor is sure to say i am under weight)

I have also found out recently that, no matter what you do to change someone, it will never work. Yea this is the most painful truth. It doesn't matter what you do or what you become, people will stay the same. But in some cases, people change a lot and i mean A LOT, for good or for worse they do change. You must be confused to see what i am writing. So i am going to make a simple summary statement for this paragraph. Bottom line is, if you are hoping that someone would change for your sake, forget about it cause they won't. And if you think that people do not change after a period of time, forget about it too cause believe it or not, they will change. It is just a matter of time. When and how much they will change. But there is still hope. As long as you believe in it, good things will always come your way. In the end, i'll say, don't think too much and your life would be much better. Of course, add in a smile and your life would always be nice.

Techkie House - Citrus - Curtin - New Tanjong Seafood

Friday! 8th August 2008. Said to be the luckiest day yet. I woke up really early today and got myself prepared to attend two opening ceremonies. One is Techkie House and the other is Citrus Restaurant.

First stop was Techkie House. Did not manage to get a lot of pictures, but i did manage to get teamGD's and pEi's flower which was sent to Techkie House.

Full size picture.


Notice the name... it should be teamGD not teamGO what a disasterous typo

Next one was of course Citrus Cafe & Restaurant. This opening ceremony was more crowdy than the one in Techkie House but both are on the same scale though.

3 ribbon bouquets, first one occupied by Kelvin (owner), YB Andy Chia, and Hazel (Mrs. Owner). YB Andy reaching out his arms asking when do we cut the ribbons? Lol.

Getting ready to cut the ribbons...

Hooray~! Citrus is officially open!

After a meal at Citrus, chit-chatting with MeowMeow and Hazel the Mrs. Owner, I made a U-turn back to Techkie House for a second visit. After the second visit, I was really exhausted as I did not get enough sleep the night before so I made a beeline straight for home.

When I got home, took a shower and dropped myself into bed. Just when I was about to fall into a deep deep nap, my phone rang... it was a call from campus, telling me that i had to go to campus as they need to reassign my units because, apparently i got more subjects exempted. So this semester, I am taking... Legal Framework 100, Introduction to Human Resource 200, System Analysis and Design 150, and Accounting (Managerial) 101.

After that is done, I went home again and prepared myself for the night's food hunt at Tanjong. Arrived there a bit early than the rest. I don't know how to write it in words so I will let pictures do the talking.

Waiting for the food to arrive~!
Left to right: StratOS (Eric) and Gray


Big smileeeeee...... this is jcch

The girl who likes to take pictures~ huilee!!!
Also known as "Pui Bak"

Wah~! Two leng lui's....
Left to right: Rachelle and Pui Bak

My drink for the night.
Coca-Cola + Lemon

Finally after waiting for quite a while and a lot of chit-chatting, the food for the night has arrived!

Butter Prawns

I don't know how to name this in English, so I will just type the name out in BM.
Pucuk Ubi (i think) fried with belacan.


Sizzling Wok Japanese Tofu?

Sweet n Sour Chicken?

Fried Long Beans with belacan?


Curry Lamb in Claypot

Well folks, that is about it... although i do not know some of the exact name of the dish, I hope you all enjoy the pictures and when the review is up, you will get to see the detailed and more accurate information in MakanManiacs.com. Hope you all enjoy reading.

Curtin, Curtin Groupie & Thursday's Lunch!

Well, i have not been able to blog about me starting school yet again.... so i am going to write about it briefly in this post. Class started last week.... i started late... enrolled late... almost everything late... so i am kind of a bit behind in terms of notes.. books... what to do... where to do this and that.. which i have very little knowledge about.

So far i have attended my Management lecture and tutorial, Legal Framework lecture and tutorial and also Marketing Lecture where i got embarrassed in front of like.. one hundred people for coming in late. Oh well, that is what i get for being late to class. Haven't been in Accounting class yet.. hope i can register in time.

First week in, groupie assignments and individual assignments are already piling up. OMG. This is like my worst nightmare!! I hate assignments!! Oh well, that is university life.

Roughly that is what happened, skip skip all those bla bla bla..... then yesterday's lunch was ... briyani rice with beef rendang! YUMMY. Had it at Ala-Mak in Piasau area... for those who don't know where it is, it is on the same row with Sea Horse Bistro.

I'm tired of typing and thinking of what to post. So pictures are as follows.

Briyani Rice with Beef Rendang. SUPERB!!

What are Promises?

Today at this hour, i found out myself that promises made by anyone are just mere words to please one's heart. I have wondered a long long time and i still can not find the answer to this mystery. If you do not intend to keep a promise, then why do you make them in the first place?

I can not say that i have seen a lot of different people and different behaviors, but if there is anything i hate most, it is not keeping a promise. To me, promises are just like giving out money to people whom you trust will return it back to you but when a person breaks that promise or does not even come close to keeping the promise, what should you do? I have come across a lot of situations where promises are given but not kept.

In the end, the one who ends up broken and disappointed is myself. I have thought about this problem and i have been finding a way to solve it. I do not wan to feel disappointed and broken every time these situations happen. Eventually, i have come to a conclusion that in order to prevent the same occurrences, it comes down to one self.

You see, when you let someone give a promise, you are being soft. Most of the time, someone gives you a promise because they think you would let up and be soft when you hear something that you like. That is what it really is. They are exploiting the softness within you and taking advantage of your good side.

I do not know if it is the best way. But i am surely going to try. Maybe then, empty promises do not work on me. Of course, by then, i would be an entirely different person than the one that i am now. Good or bad, i will never know till i change and try it out.....

Goodbye July

Wow, just in a blink of an eye and it is already the end of July. Once more it is August and the days are creeping slowly to the year 2009. I have been trying to keep myself busy all the time with work and gaining experience at the same time.

So i did not blog that much in this month. This should be my second last post for the month as i am sure i will post one on the 31st of July.

I graduated last Saturday, 26th of July. The ceremony was held in Eastwood Valley. Finally i am a Diploma in Commerce graduate! Hooray for me! I did not take any pictures as i was so ashamed to take out my crappy Sony Ericsson phone to take pictures. Just managed to get one from a friend of mine.

Me & Kevin

Are you Feeling What you Should be Feeling?

It has been a weird week for me last week. Somehow things happened just like that and i do not even know what happened. Sometimes i think to myself, as a guy why should i be so sensitive. It is not like everyone notices what you do for them, it is just a matter of what they need at that time.

Being sensitive, i have thought this point over and over again countless times. But i have yet to find a definite answer to my question. What choices should i make? What should i do? The same goes to what i should feel?

It is not just about me, but i think that all of you out there have had this dilemma before. What should you feel? Or are you feeling what you should be feeling? Or is everything is just a fairy tale that will be over in a blink of an eye.

It has been a while since i have had this kind of dilemma and honestly i do not know myself what i should do, what i should be feeling, or should i be feeling what i am feeling now. Yes i have written a few posts regarding this feeling stuff and how to cope with them roughly. But the truth is, when it comes to myself, i do not know how to handle it. No, do not tell me that you all out there do not have the same problem or difficulty. Truth is when you look at it closely, everybody can give advice and teach you what to do. But not everyone can cope with it when it comes to them.

Everyone of us has hopes for everything that is good but it does not always turn out to be what we want. Same goes to what you do not want. When you don't want it, it comes to you. We do not actually have control over ourselves. What i believe is there are a few paths paved out for us to choose, the choice is us to make but what happens on those different paths are already pre-determined. That is what we call destiny.

Enough of my rantings. Hope my blog readers out there don't get bored of this. Maybe there is more to come. But all in all, i hope i do not regret the decisions that i make. Same goes to you all out there! Think carefully before you decide in something!

新不了情

My first ever post in Chinese. Somehow I got hooked to this song. For some reason, it has that special meaning. I am sorry i could not provide a translation in English but for those who know Chinese, I expect you all to know the meaning behind this sentimental song. Thanks to that certain "someone" for letting me know the existence of this song.

新不了情

心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝
这一份情永远难了
愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何厮守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了
心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝
这一份情永远难了
愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何厮守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

A Guy in Tight Jeans?

What would you think if a guy wore tight jeans? My opinion? First glance and impression would be that he is gay. But what do you think?

Do you know that blue jeans are the origin and DNA of a man's casual wardrobe. It is a million of random possibility of lifestyles organized into one coherent system or fashion. But how do you get the right ones to fit your appearance?

How Do You Get A Pair of Jeans that Molds to Your Body?
Jeans, in my opinion looks better on a man when they are still stiff and dark as they were when they came home from the store. These are blue jeans that i am talking about. It gets better when the jeans have been softened and sculpted, also battered against a man's body by life itself.

If you are looking to buy one, buy a single pair that starts out looking like something Potsie wore on Happy Days. Over time, they will mature into your favourite pair of jeans or even pants.

How to Tell if Your Pair is Too Baggy or Tight?
Some people will call this as an anatomy test cause basically, to know if the pair is too baggy or too tight depends totally on the outlook after you wear the pair of jeans. This test is only for men! (hehehe..)

If you can see any of your frontal anatomy through your pants, then they are too tight. If people see any of your gluteal anatomy above your jeans, then they are too loose. You can leave the extra baggy jeans for rappers or skate punks. Also remember, no one wants to see a man in tight jeans!

How Do You Make Jeans Go With Everything?
Okay, now that you know how to get a pair that suits you, how do you tell if the pair is too baggy or too tight, you have got to know how to sync the pair with the rest of your wardrobe to make it look nice and of course handsome!

Blue jeans, by right ought to be casual. It also evolved itself into the ultimate in terms of flexibility. If used with wit, they can work with many different situations. For me, its best to wear lighter-weighted denim as they match well with all colours and look great paired with a woven shirt and a linen or navy blazer.

Which Jacket Do You Wear With Your Jeans?
For jackets, i would not recommend for a full-denim outfit as it is a little too country for most girls. Instead, you can add a buttery suede or leather jacket. Trust me, you'll love it, and so will the ladies.

Are You Running From Love? - Part 4 (Finale)

Stop Distancing to Stop Running From Love
A good day to you all readers. Once again, i hope you all have enjoyed my posts regarding this topic so far. This will be the last segment. I hope that this segment will be as enjoyable to you all as it has been for me writing it.

First and foremost, you need to acknowledge the kinds of distancing patters that you have. Yes that is correct. Not your partner, not anyone else's partner but YOU. I am sure that we all have a distancing pattern within ourselves. After you have acknowledged your own distancing pattern, move into new ways of exploring the roots.

If people have had a lot of failures in trying to get closer, whether it is within a relationship or getting into a relationship, it is really a mistake for them to keep trying the same old thing. Take the kind of radical approach? Try being more vulnerable for instance?

In my opinion, once you've found your own distancing patterns, it will enable you to identify the flaws and mistakes that you normally make in a relationship. Everyone has that pattern and it will happen and appear in every single relationship if you don't make an effort to change. Thus, making your relationships the same old thing again and again. You'll face the same problems in every single relationship or even the same old partner's habits in every single relationship. So I leave it to you to decide the importance of this as the best I can do is share it with you all. As always, comments are welcomed and feel free to contact me if you have anything in mind regarding the articles.

Are You Running From Love? - Part 3

Recognising the Distancing Behaviour

The first thing that should be done is deepening awareness. Most people know on some levels that things are not working in the love department, but they don't know why. They don't really know how to make sense of it. So it's mostly about looking at "Why do i feel the way i feel, why do i think the way i think?" It's going from "I'm just a guy who won't commit" to going below the surface. Another thing is awareness of the mind-body connection, how much our biology shapes can affect people in relationship. People's bodies holds stories that not even their own minds are aware of and that shows upand gets triggered as they start to get close, more involved and feel more vulnerable. When this happens, some of the old fear kicks in and sets in the kind of biological reaction.

The next post will be the fourth and the last regarding this topic. I hope you all readers out there have enjoyed reading so far. Just a tiny preview, the next topic will be titled "Stop Distancing to Stop Running from Love". Comments are welcomed.

Are You Running From Love? - Part 2

The Common Distancing Patterns
As i have described in the post earlier, people tend to get close to their partner but that is only up to a point, where they will start to distance themselves. We call this "A Distancer". But before we learn how to spot or recognize distancing behaviors, we definitely need to know the common behavior patterns.

Sometimes it is very obvious, someone who won't talk about the way he or she feels or won't open up sexually (NOT MEANING OPEN IN HAVING SEX), but then, there are a lot of other ways to do it.

The busy and distracted lifestyle - Classical one where the man (now, sometimes the woman) is always at work, or the mother who devotes all her time and energy to the children and is always putting the relationship with her husband on hold because they are afraid of being really open and vulnerable and intimate with their partner.

One person may even seem like the "super partner" where he or she takes care of so much that he/she doesn't actually take the time to connect with their partner. When this happens, we'll have a couple that looks really good on the surface but actually something is missing.

Then, there's the extreme situation where the man or woman who wants to have a relationshop but they can't let themselves get near to having one. Normally for this extreme situation, the guy or gal would actually find something wrong with everybody they date or even find ways to avoid meeting people or avoid dating or exploring relationships.

Next is the middle category. These are the people who actually get into relationships and do great in courtship stage. They're into it, they're very excited and may even be very apparently open sexually and emotionally but when it starts to move into a more committed and vulnerable stage, they start to distance themselves. It looks like a simple fear of commitment but if you look closely under the covers, it comes back to ways people learn to distrust closeness and vulnerability in an intimate relationship.

Well, there you have it, the patterns that you should be looking out for. The next post tomorrow will be finally about how to recognize the distancing behaviors. Enjoy.

Are You Running From Love? - Part 1

Normally, if you ask advice from someone about love or the important things in a relationship, you'll always hear people say "You've got to be open and communicate honestly with your partner". But don't you know? Being honest and open is not the only thing that is important in a relationship? A lot of people - both men and women - have reasons on things that they don't do that easily. Usually, people have a kind of universal fear of being vulnerable or letting somebody in. This is not so different from the common norm. But there are some experts who think the difference is understanding and that there are different ways to approach in changing that.

My personal opinion? Honestly and openness is not the only thing needed in a relationship. If only honesty and openness is the only thing needed, then everyone could be couples and get into a relationship regardless of the situation and compatibility. But we all know, that is not the thing that happens in reality. For me, the main thing that is essential in a relationship is the feel and the compatibility of you and your partner. Without these, where would be the purpose of having a relationship. Of course, a relationship also needs a lot of understanding. As mentioned in the first paragraph.

Sounds so easy and simple? Have you ever wondered why married couples file for divorce? A pair of very loving couples break up after a long period of relationship? Most of the time, you can spot this as it comes or happens. But usually, when your partner does not feel good around you anymore, or when there are signs of a relationship gone bad, either you, yourself or your partner would definitely keep a distance at first. This is what we call as a distancer. Gradually, this distancer, will make the gap between you and your partner become bigger and bigger. In the end, we have what we call a "break up" or "divorce".

WHAT IS A DISTANCER?
Everyday, there are a lot of people getting into relationships. But the real question is, are they committed or not? There are certainly a lot of people who avoid committed relationships altogether. But i am certain that all of us have known people - and even some of us are the people - who will start to get close in a relationship and then pull away when they feel threatened or when they feel too vulnerable or afraid that they are going to be suffocated, or lose their autonomy. It is more subtle when people distance within a relationship.

They are married, but they are really not there - there is a way in which they are holding themselves back to the point that either they or their partner is unhappy. This is something that would be said or best to describe a marriage where a distancer exists.

I'll stop here for the night but tomorrow i will continue on this topic where i will share with you all about "The Common Distancing Behavior Patterns" Hope you all enjoy tonight's post and i am looking forward to share with you the next segment tomorrow night. Thank you for reading!

Friends. Expendable?

I came across this question in my mind today and i asked myself. Are my friends expendable? What about yours? Are they expendable to you?

First of all, let me take you for some lessons and enlightenment. What does expendable mean? Taken from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, expendable means easily replaced or economically replaced. So, the main question that i am emphasizing in this post is, can your friends be easily replaced?

I will be 22 this year and i believe i can say that i have gone through my fair share of experience that a 22 year old teen could go through. Some may have gone through incidents or situations that are far more worse that i have gone though. But, simply put, we've all gone through something and not everyone will go through the same thing.

It is true that each and everyone of us has gone through different life experiences but there is one thing that i am certain that will happen in everyone's life once they reach their teen years. Betrayal and backstabbing. What does betrayal and backstabbing has got to do with expendable friends? Easy, it all goes down to why does someone betray or backstab you. When someone close or he/she is just a normal friend betrays or backstabs you, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Most of the people i know would definitely act irrationally.

If it was me, i would just calm down and just think a bit more rationally before making any decisions. In the end, i always decide on one conclusion. That is, the person that i call friend just thinks that i am an "expendable friend" thus it led to his/her treachery of betrayal and backstabbing.

Why do i say this? If you think about it logically, if you cherish your friend it would never cross your mind to betray or backstab him/her. When i say cherish i mean like appreciate him/her as a close friend or even just as a normal friend, never thinking of taking advantage or him/her or even using him/her for any purpose that would benefit you or someone else.

I have been through these and needless to say, i have been through the betrayal and backstabbing part quite a number of times. From every single one of these cases, i have drawn out simple conclusion for myself and maybe for those out there who thinks the same way that i do. Trust is an important factor in friendship thus those who honor and take friendships seriously will do anything in their power to uphold the trust that exists in their friendships. Still, there is one single thing in this world that can destroy that trust in a split second no matter in which country you live in, it is all the same. Money.

Money, money, money. It makes the world go round. Without money, there would be almost no life on earth. Not to say breathing and still alive type of life, but life as in people working hard to earn money, people spending money for entertainment and etc. Of course, not everyone has the same status and wealth. In my opinion, the world today runs on a principle that is undeniable. The rich rule and control almost everything. Even the world economy. Imagine that, the destructive power of money. Money can build something out of nothing and it also can destroy that something in a split second. Money is the devil in disguise!! Don't you think so? People kill, rob, kidnap, and do a whole lot of crimes just to get a hold of money.

I don't know if you understand what i meant after reading the paragraphs above but the main thing that i wish to emphasize is that, no matter what, never let money get in between friendship ties. No matter what you do, do not value money over the friendship ties that you have with your friends. I have seen it happen to others and honestly it happened to me too. How i wish money never exists. That way, i could always keep my friends and never see betrayal or backstabbing happen.

A Moment In Time

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you had a moment of your past? Or a moment of your future? Recently i have been thinking. What is it like if you could relive your past or go to the future then come back to the present to change what you think will affect your life then.

People always think and wonder what is it like to have this ability. But honestly, i believe other than God Himself, there is no one else that can do a thing like that. Sometimes, you may have dreams which foretell what would happen but that phenomenon hardly ever happens to everyone. I have had a few dreams where i dream of a scenario that involves me in it and it happens in real life but the outcome of the situation is not the same. When that happens, i get flashbacks of what i dreamt but i never could recall the dream when i wanted to. It is as if, i have restricted access to the memory of my own dream.

You may wonder why am i blogging about this. Honestly, something that happened approximately 14 to 15 hours ago made me start thinking. As most of the people in Miri know, there was a young man who suicided by jumping off a 10 story building in town area yesterday. From what i heard, this young man, does not gamble, or have any serious problems of a sort. It made me wonder why he did it. It just doesn't make sense. Why leave your family behind when you are already going through your life just fine?

That is just the half of it. A few hours ago, i saw this TV series on TV of course. It was about this guy who goes to sleep and wakes up 20 years earlier etc. When he gets back to his present time, his wife tells him he has been gone for two days. A lot of things happened and in the end, the real reason that it happened to the guy was he was supposed to save someone from dying. I know i know it is just a TV show but i would think of it as a very odd coincidence?

Almost 14 hours earlier someone suicided in my own town and less than 14 hours later, there is a TV series that portrays a man who goes to sleep in the present and wakes up in the past just to save lives and bad things from happening. It made me wonder. What if, what if we were given a moment in time to fix all the things we've done wrong in the past or in the future? What if we are given a chance to see a moment of our future? What would you do?

To me, this phrase has a lot of hidden meanings. It could be interpreted in a many ways and it varies on how each person sees it. I don't know what people out there would do with a moment in their past or future. I only know that if i had a moment in my past, i would definitely use it to correct whatever i have done wrong and set things straight.

I Never had A Dream Come True by S Club 7

Ooh...

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)
How it could be now or neither been (or neither been)
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Chorus
I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time
Amd tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been (or neither been)
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Chorus

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
(Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, baby)
You'll always be the one I know (I'll never forget)
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

Chorus

A part of me will always be with you...

That's Where You Find Love by Westlife

In your eyes, I found the greatest prize
You and I could not be closer
And in your arms, is everything I want
Now I know my search is over

and I don't know where you take me
But it's exactly where I wanna be

[Chorus:]
It's where the stars line up
It's where the ocean starts
It's in a place I've never been that feels like home
It's in the air right now
It's when you give your all, and give a little more
I've never been so sure, that's where you find love

People pass, and listen to us laugh
Wishing that they had the same thing
And our friends they ask, how we made it last
I just smile and say the same thing

I'm not sure how we got here
Baby I'm just glad that we got here

[Chorus:]
It's where the stars line up
It's where the ocean starts
It's in a place I've never been that feels like home
It's in the air right now
It's when you give your all, and give a little more
I've never been so sure, that's where you find love
That's where you find love

It's where the stars line up
It's where the ocean starts
It's in the place and everything that feels like home

It's in the air right now
It's when you give your all, and give a little more
I've never been this sure, that's where you find love

Find love
That's where you find love

Father's Day

Well it is the time of the year where we thank our dad's for all their hard work in raising us from a little baby to what we are now. Overall, this is the day that we muster up our creativity and courage to do stuff or plan things that we don't usually do. Even if it is not much. As long the sincerity is there, it is better than not doing anything to show your appreciation at all.

I don't know if it is counted as a father's day dinner as there might be another dinner tonight but the family had dinner at Lotus Court Restaurant in Mega Hotel last night. Food was okay but not what i would say superb. Can't blame them since they had a few functions going on at the same time.

So here are pictures of 2 dishes that i thought would be worth trying. BUT i forgot the names of those dishes..... anyways, enjoy the pictures.

Chicken! Bottom part is fried with some sort of black pepper sauce but the flavor is just right. Not too heavy on the black pepper. Top part is also chicken but some kind of cold dish. (The cold dish chicken is awesome)

Fish, green "Siakap" i think. Fresh water fish. Sauce just right and the fish is FRESH!

Mossop's Manuka Honey

Have you ever came across this product? I was talking to one of my dad's friends and he introduced to me this product. According to him it has a lot of anti-bacterial effects.

The glucose-oxidase enzyme in honey which is introduced by the bee to the honey, slowly releases the antiseptic "hydrogen peroxide" at a level where it is effective against bacteria but it will not damage tissues.


You may think that you can get hydrogen peroxide in any type of honey since it is introduced by the bee into the honey but hydrogen peroxide content varies from honey to honey and it is the first factor that made honey effective as a wound dressing until it was replaced by antibiotics today.

Further research done by Dr Peter Molan showed and led to the discovery that some honeys, especially Manuka honeys have another property that takes over when the hydrogen-peroxide stops working. Thus, giving it additional anti-bacterial inhibiting abilities which makes the honey more stable as a wound treatment.


This additional factor is known as the Unique Manuka Factor or UMF that separates table Manuka honey from Active Manuka Honey as it has a twin-action, anti-bacterial property which works even with the dilution of body fluids.

All the research done regarding Manuka honey is done by Dr Peter Molan of the University of Waikato, New Zealand.


How it works: Honey has a large variety of amino acids and vitamins and high osmolarity, so using honey causes an outflow of lymph and thus is ideal for nourishing the skin tissue and helps lift dirt and debris from the wound. Its natural moistness ensures that any dressings used do not stick to the wound, speeds healing and minimizes scarring. The anti-bacterial properties inhibit the growth of bacteria and thus speeds healing also.

Further information on the antibacterial properties of Active Manuka Honey and the Unique Manuka Factor (UMF) can be obtained by visiting the University of Waikato Website.

Currently the only person that i know which is selling this Manuka Honey with a UMF strength percentage of 20+ as seen in the pictures above, is my dad's friend at RM 85 per 250 g bottle. I will update his contact information once i get it from him personally. In the meantime if you want the official producer, packer, marketer and exporter of Massop's Manuka Honey, the address, emails and website are as follows:

Mossop's Honey
1064 State Highway 29, Rd 1, Tauriko
Tauranga, New Zealand
Phone/Fax: 64 7 543 0971
Email: mossopshoney@maxnet.co.nz
Or: info@mossopshoney.co.nz
Website: www.mossopshoney.co.nz

Fresh New Start

Friday the 13th !! Some say this is a super unlucky day but i think otherwise. It is correct that sometimes superstitions may be true, but what matters most is do you have faith in yourself and in god. I made a drastic decision today. Wouldn't really say it drastic but to me, it is. I changed my hair style.... which i loved so much.. but then i was sick of the old hairstyle so decided it is time for a change and maybe, it is time for a fresh new start and a start of a new chapter in my life.

I've heard of a suggestion of picture blogging from someone a while back so maybe from now on, my blogs are going to be full of pictures :D

So for today, i'll start with pictures of me camwhore-ing hehe. Please do give feedback be it good or not all are welcomed.

heheheh, it is nothing special and no i am not handsome but i really enjoy taking pictures of myself. Long live photography!!! Heheheh i think i'm really poisoned already. Going to get a DSLR soon!

Feelings & emotions. What are they?

"I still have feelings for her, but I don't love her anymore."

"It just feels so right to be together."

"I just can't bear the pain and anger anymore, I've got to get away from him."

"Our marriage is over - I just don't feel the same way about her anymore."

These are the normal phrases that we come across when dealing with someone who has problems with their relationship or are confused with what they are feeling. Emotions or feelings are one of the things that we use to measure life. For example, if we feel happy then where ever we are, whenever we are we'll think that it is a good and healthy place to be. But if we are unhappy, we do things that we aren't supposed to do. This is dangerous as letting feelings take over usually overrides any values of common sense that we have.

So, what exactly are feelings? From a perspective view, they are what we call the emotions that rise up in us in reaction to events that happen around us. For instance, we can feel can feel happy, sad, excited, bored, anxious, embarrassed, miserable and many more feelings that are mostly indescribable by words.

Feelings are not thoughts arising from the mind but it is the sensation coming straight from one's heart. When one says "I feel that you should not do that" he or she is merely expressing his or her opinion and not his or her feelings.

So logically, everyone have feelings but why in some certain environments, occasions or levels of the society some people think that they do not have any feelings. This is common especially among men and certain women. Have you heard of the phrase "Boys don't cry" ? Well, this portrays exactly why these certain people think that they do not have any feelings. But i know in some countries, men are the ones who cry the most if compared to women. Can you guess which country is that?

What i am trying to say is, everyone has emotions. It is just that some of us, push them down or even out of the way. Sometimes, even you or me do this to ourselves and we will think that we're unemotional or emotionless but in truth, it actually means that we are merely not acknowledging those emotion or not expressing them. Not meaning that the emotions are not there.

Simply put, feelings are the way we respond to what happens to us and around us. It is a sign of what is going on inside you. It is even unique as no other person on earth is quite like you thus no other person on earth has the same set of feelings that you have.

We can't control feelings or make feelings go away. For example, have you ever tried making yourself feel happy when you are sad or miserable? It can not be done can it? Even if it is possible, it will not be that easy.

Sometimes i feel as if i live my life based on my emotions and feelings. I do what i like and i do it when i feel like i want to do it. When i don't i do not even bother about it. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Should i change or should i just be who i am?

I do not feel proud with the way i live my life. Even if i am only so young. In the same time, i am not satisfied with how i live my life but i do not know how i should change my life or what should i change my life into.

Goodbye by Janice Wei Lan

Once again, i came across one song that suits my mood right now. Just want to share. Hope all of you like it.

Goodbye by Janice Wei Lan

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize all you've ever meant to my life

[Chorus:]
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but good-bye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

Repeat [Chorus:]

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say good-bye.

To Love Or Be Loved

"What is better? To love or be loved?" Usually we prefer to believe that we have sufficient capacity to combine the two in such a manner that we may truly feel love. A person gives more than the other. It’s a clear fact and it’s present in every situation and it can’t be dismissed.

Without realizing how we really feel, we let ourselves get carried away by time, acting spontaneous, without having time to differentiate good from bad.

We don’t ask ourselves an essential question:" What is better? To love or be loved? "We’d prefer to believe that we have sufficient capacity to combine the two in such a manner that we may truly feel love.

A person gives more than the other. It’s a clear fact and it’s present in every situation and it can’t be dismissed. The reciprocity that we always wish for is actually a false reciprocity. A relationship always consists of two persons, from which, one always gives more that the other. One person is more flexible, gives in more often, is willing to make compromise, while the other strives to always be right, and tries to impose a certain rhythm into the relationship, not from pride but just because she/he thinks it’s best that way.

However, sometimes, because we really wish that everything would go smoothly, we forget to contradict, to lay out our opinion in the open, to be our own self and we become someone totally unrecognizable.

Moreover, love does not consist of changing someone so that they may fit our perfect picture, but finding someone that already fits our personality and our requests. We choose to love rather than be loved, because we know how it feels not to be loved and what's more, we have within ourselves the desire to be loved!

Sometimes, we love more than we should, or we exaggerate in expressing our feelings. Why are we more conscious and why do we think more about the well-being of others and choose to suffer?

Even if the apparent solution is letting ourselves be loved, I don’t think we could live with ourselves or with the thought that our partner is not appreciated as he or she should be. It hurts us when our partner suffers. We love, maybe more than we should.

We love so we can live life to the maximum. We love holding the hope of real happiness in our hearts. We love and we’re not sorry for it. Love is not jealous, love is not envious, love does not cause pain, and love is pure.

There should be no room for selfishness in a relationship, neither room for playing with each other` s feelings. We hurt each other in the most dim-witted ways possible. Sometimes we’re not careful with the one next to us and that can be tragic, because an upsetting thing, once said, cannot be taken back and that leaves marks.

If we’d love each other the way we’re suppose to, most of our problems would instantly melt. Love comes tied to trust, kindness, pleasant character and some other important things. These together could make a great difference worldwide. But it’s hard to get past our own selfishness and forgetting about our personal needs, to caring for the needs of others.

Even in romantic relationships we don’t always give what’s best for our partner. It is wrong, yet, we still tend to do it. These kind of things need to change, because without love, nothing would be the same.

We should choose to love over being loved. It is not easy, but if we all did it, we would be giving and receiving at the same time.

Let’s look at what the Bible has to say about love. This applies to every type or relationship: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Love never fails!

However, where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."